My Children, Together

Although I always wanted to be a mother, I’m one of those people for whom motherhood might not have happened if it was left up to me to schedule. I was far too caught up in my education and career. In fairness to myself, I don’t think many people think “Well, I don’t have much going on for the next several years. This is a good time to stop everything else in my life and let little humans turn my world upside down.”

I do not have siblings of my own. A discontented only child, I have always felt the void that a sibling might have filled in my life. Moreover, I am an only child of an only child (my mother), and did not like the prospect of having a third generation only child with very little family or extended family. Not only did I want to be a mother, I wanted to have TWO children so that they would have each other along life’s road, companions for life. Family. I feel beyond blessed to have made it through two complicated, high-risk pregnancies. Every day, without fail, I am overcome with amazement and awe that my children are here.

As an only child, what I find most fascinating is their relationship with each other. From the first moment they saw each other, it was if their souls had been reunited. They gazed at each other with such love and recognition that it seemed to stop time:

Flowergirl and Sunboy meet for the first time (Flowergirl is less than a day old)

That’s how it started, and their love for each other has not wavered. Even brief moments of jealousy (her more than him) seem to dissolve quickly. Every morning starts as a love fest. They both laugh and squeal and hug and kiss when they see each other again after a night apart. When Flowergirl gets to be a little older, I would not be at all surprised if they want to have little sleepovers in each others rooms. I will let them.

I’m amazed at how completely my son has given himself over to loving his sister. It’s beautiful to watch.

Flowergirl, 2 weeks old, with the flower that Sunboy gave her

They seem to communicate without speaking and play together well (amazing with the four year age difference).

Flowergirl and Sunboy pretend to be pigs
Watching the seagulls

I know as they get older they will sometimes fight, but I hope that they will hold on to the love and friendship that they have now. I remind Sunboy that I didn’t have a brother or sister and always wanted one. I’m so glad that he and his sister have each other and that they will be friends for their whole lives. I can’t express how deeply happy I am that I could do my part to bring them together.

Big Brother and Little Sister
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6 thoughts on “My Children, Together

  1. Beautiful :) I have 2 boys who are four years apart and they have a similar loving relationship. They are now 6 and 10 and are still very loving with each other, although, granted, they do have their moments :). I think a four year gap is a good thing; it leaves less room for jealousy/competition and more room for respect and mentorship.

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    1. Thanks, Janine, and congrats to you for having wonderful, loving boys. It’s good to hear news that the loving relationship may continue! I agree that a four year age difference seems perfect. Sunboy likes to try to “co-parent” with us sometimes, but then also loves to play with her as a peer. It’s a good balance, and yes, he is often eager to applaud her accomplishments without seeming competitive.

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  2. I think you may just convince me to have another baby for the sake of my 2 year old daughter. Feels like the world is incomplete without one, right?

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