It Takes Coffee To Get Coffee

I have been saying this for years. The truth of these words never fails to amaze me.

This morning, my friend Vivian said, “Wondering how many nights of sleep deprivation in a row it takes to kill you… On a positive note, I feel high without having taken anything”. Another friend, Erin, explained that it’s more likely that we would eventually hallucinate from sleep deprivation than actually die. Regardless of the fate that awaits us, we’ve been feeling sleep deprived at Casa de BeingMama now that Flowergirl’s asthma has had her waking at 3 am.

I’ve always thought that I could have made an excellent absent-minded professor. For example, the more that I could use a caffeinated cup of liquid love, the less likely I am to easily get it. This is partially user-error, but it is also the very nature of coffee (or tea or chai or whatever it is that helps start your day). Consider the below cases in point.

I have left my coffee on the top of my car and driven away. Multiple times.

I have left my coffee in the kitchen then left the house without it. Multiple times.

One morning I noticed that my desk had SIX cups of mostly-finished coffee on it. I poured the remains of the six cups into one cup to more easily dispose of the liquid. Then, as I sought this morning’s americano I realized that it was in a mug identical to the one I had used to collect the dregs of the other cups. The two cups – old and new – had the same volume of coffee in them and were both cold. There was no measure to distinguish between them. I had no choice but to discard both and made a new cup. Time to achieve a state of coffeeness: delayed. Again.

Some days, particularly those following a sleep-deprived night, the best we can hope for is for someone to hand us a cup of coffee and loyally remain at our side while we drink it to save us from ourselves. For me, it only takes a few sips of coffee to wake me up, but those sips are often elusive. In my currently sleep-deprived, under-caffeinated state, the idea of a Coffee Advocate or Coffee Sherpa to help us navigate our mornings sounds like a reasonable plan.

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