I think I have a healthy sense of perspective on many things. Once you’ve seen enough things go wrong, it becomes easy to notice the things going right. So much is right, everywhere. In fact things are generally good. If things need tweaking, that doesn’t mean that things are no longer good. It’s just that life is an evolution and we all negotiate our way towards carving out a niche to our liking. Being a person who has fairly broad experiences, I can speak my truth and my values while respecting contrasting views. That is, I can speak with conviction without my emotions taking over the conversation.
My husband is laughing right now.
Okay, it’s true that I am a woman who feels emotions deeply. I’m sentimental and empathetic. Sometimes cries over silly things. I love a good cry and the endorphin high that follows.
But I’m also highly analytical, with a terminal degree in a quantitative science field. I love logical thinking and logical problem solving.
So, here I am, a highly logical and highly emotional person. It’s no wonder that people might get confused. I mean, in fairness, one might think that I’m being emotional at the times when I’m really just negotiating my niche. One might argue that my reputation as an emotional person sometimes precedes me with people whom I know. However, misconstruing my words as emotionally-laden occurs with strangers too.
Do you see the logical argument I’m building here?
So, this is what happens: I make a statement regarding something that I consider to be wrong, unfair or biased. Or maybe I just want things to be different than they are. Before I know it, assumptions are made by a stranger who has decided that I’m upset…or I’m angry…or I’m too sensitive…or I’m overly emotional. As I’ve indicated above, I am overly emotional, just not all the time, and I’m well aware of the distinction.
And how would a stranger know about my emotional side? Answer: they don’t.
Then it occurred to me that I might not be alone in being the object of emotional pre-judging. Recently, after speaking my truth, someone made an off-handed comment that “too many moms” were involved, suggesting, it seems, that my comments on what was I considered an ethical issue was not ethical, but rather was emotional in basis. This person was not aware of my logical side or even that I currently work in the field of ethics.
Assumptions by strangers. Assumptions that I’m sure are made about other women as well. “Too many moms.”
And you know what? It doesn’t even matter. It doesn’t matter who I am or who you are because the people making judgments based on stereotypes don’t take the time to listen to what you or I are saying. Calling someone “emotional” or “a mom” – in a derogatory manner – releases them from considering whether your truth might also be their truth. Or whether your truth is a common truth.
Not to mention that these assumptions perpetuate the idea that there is something wrong with being emotional, or wrong with being a mom, a woman. Something less. Something worth discrediting. Don’t take her seriously, she’s an emotional woman.
I hesitated on writing that last line, because I recognize that it sounds emotional. Truthfully, I’m feeling rather left-brained at the moment and that line is an accurate description of the mentality. Don’t take the woman seriously. It’s her emotions talking. It’s probably that time of the month. It’s the perfect rationale for casting aside what is said a significant portion of our lives.
In the end, I am proud to be both highly emotional and highly logical. It makes me well-rounded and well able to sample the spectrum of human experience. The fact is, anywhere you live along the spectrum of human experience is worthy of being heard. Everyone’s voice is important and worth hearing. Don’t let those who won’t take a moment to hear your truth silence it. For one who has seen both the good and the bad, there is much to be said.