Songs Of Kat

Over the course of my life, many have asked me how I became so strong, noting that odds were against me, that most would not have turned out as I did. The answer was always…

1) I don’t know,

2) I knew from a young age my life was all up to me.

I would also now add…

3) We’re only as strong as circumstances make us,

4) We’re only as strong as we allow ourselves to become.

Still, life can be brutal. Downright brutal. Cosmic joke, ironically cruel. And there’s mourning in acknowledging that. We must allow for the mourning of circumstances beyond our control. Just because we feel we’re falling apart and crumbling, doesn’t mean our essence ceases to be strong. Asking for help is a sign of strength. One of the hardest things I do is ask for help. There’s profound bravery and vulnerability and trust in it. It’s a statement that I am not enough, but I’m worth the effort of others. It signals a profound hope that help is possible, that happier days are waiting and it’s a matter of delving deeper inside oneself to find happiness.

So what’s the meaning of the title here? Well, every life is an experiment. Toss a human into a combination of nature (genetics) and nurture (circumstances) and the life unfolds like a story as the days of life progress. If the result were known there would be no reason to do the experiment. In my life, I know I am fraught with imperfections and lack, just like everyone else. Possibly more so. So, I continue to work for a best outcome I can.

I hope I can always say I rose to my circumstances and was brave enough and strong enough that on some level the experiment of my life gave a positive result. That I was stronger than my circumstances, that I allowed myself to be as strong as I could become, and that I was worth any help that I received along the way.