Taking back power with positivity

It was difficult for months. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t seem to thread the needle. I finally accepted the unhealthiness of the situation into which I had stumbled. I was being routinely and cruelly dissected on the whim of someone who held the one thing I didn’t have (or so I had thought): power.

I didn’t want to win her game, because doing so would have made me be just like her. To persevere with a person who thrives on toxicity, offer them kindness and look for the door.

Kindness, positivity, peacefulness, and self-respect are stronger than the contrary. It may not feel that way in the moment of falling leaves, but it will when the world re-equilibrates the forest.

I had many talks with myself during those months, reminding myself that we own what we put into the world. A person who puts terrible things into the world will continue to own their terrible things unless we accept them. I worked to let much of it slide from me like water from a duck’s back, my resolve like a protective oil. I was proud of how far I had come in coping with bullies. It was amusing to watch frustration build as I did not mirror negativity back as was expected.

Still, when it is clear you don’t belong somewhere, you must accept it and let go. So that’s what I did. I left.

2014 - crossing bridge

And then wonderful things started happening. I found a publisher for my first book of poetry (to be released within weeks!). About 20 of my poems will be published in poetry journals in 2015. I started doing Bikram (hot yoga) and quickly got rid of back pain that had plagued me for a year-and-a-half. I am helping people who need help. I am reconnecting with that which had fallen away due to misspent energy. I am myself again, fully. Only stronger.

Even during challenging times, we have choices that can reclaim our power. My mantra persists: lean on the fulcrum towards the good side of things and the good things will find you.

2012- V - seesaw beach

2 thoughts on “Taking back power with positivity

  1. Really happy you did not give in to the power struggle. This post is full of positivity and hope as all your posts are. Many congrats on the poetry book getting published

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